dun shit where u eat.
dun screw and leave.
dun speak if aint necessary.

major bitch.
positive antagonist.
deep analyser.
procastinator.
ex rugger.
lazer-ed spit.
soopa lame.

Food Journals
puteri berendam
i.eat.i.shoot.i.post
she bakes & she cooks
camemberu

Sanity Reads
yasmin ahmad
afdlin
marina mahathir
zaidy nandir
imran ajmain
fadly ahmad
patrick teoh
cowboy malaysia
sultan muzaffar
nona kirana

Friends & Foes
hilman
shahruddin
rashid

September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
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January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
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June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
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October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
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August 2009
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October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
April 2010
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June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
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November 2010
December 2010
February 2011
April 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
January 2012
July 2015
October 2015
June 2016
September 2016
March 2020

designer: frozen.d}
resources: x

salaam a'laik

today, 15 years ago, at about real time..
my mind was working very very hard, and was running mind maps yang tidak terkata seharusnya..

at this time, me and my lil bros are grappling with the loss of my mom.
filled with uncertainty of what life will carve for us, piled with all the unsureity of everything and anything.. we pounced on life the way we should.could and would.

by being fighters. fighters at every juncture of life.
every corner. every inch. every ounce. every lil of anything and everything.

today, i still feel the loss.
the feeling's still fresh.
the 15-year old memories are etched.
like an old and antique film, going for its umpteenth re-runs.

i know she's with us.
where? in our hearts. in our prayers.

dear mama.
if only u'ld knew what i'm feeling rite now. i'm sure u'ld be the one who comforts me despite the degil-ness of mine. despite anything.

to Allahyarhamha Latifah Binte Taib
Al-Fatihah.
May u be blessed with the ease of things in Barzakh.
May u be placed with the best of people in Barzakh.
Aamin.

Salaam'alaik.

One Ramadhan has passed.
1/2 of Syawal is particularly poof-ed!
And all i've been busy with is with impending pressure @ work.

Closure of financial years are uber stressful, seriously!
So many things, so little time..

I'm fighting so many wars in my head.
Sometimes i'm confused of which role i'm playing in each individual wars.
I'm the knight in some, the horse in some, the pawn but never the queen.
Such's life!

Particularly disappointed with some lurved ones.
Decisions are made without common logical thinking.
If everything is to be taken without deliberating on important facts and based on the most logical reasonings.. its freaky aint it?

Questions after questions have been hovering around my thick skull. Whys and hows?
Questions that they dun have answers for anyway..

Everyone thinks that I'm egoistic for behaving badly, in reaction to this.
Believe me, he is the last person i want to hurt living my life.
But i have to put my point across that I am only human.
There are questions that I need logical reasoning for.
And all these are not not answered.
Even I am the last one standing, I will not agree to it.
You guys can really say wat u want.
I will stick it up with my decision.

So u guys think about it.
Akal itu hadir untuk berfikir.
Bukan untuk dibuat hiasan semata2!

Meanwhile.. i'm dealing with it like an ice queen.
As that is wat i play best in life.
Cold. Distant and Forever Ready to Snap!

Till then.
Lets see wat unfolds.

Ya Allah, jauhkanlah perkara yang kurang disenangi supaya ia tidak memberi aku ruang untuk berkelakuan kurang adab dengan orang2 yang aku hormati dalam hidup. Berikanlah kami Hidayah Kamu ya Allah untuk melalui segala dugaan yang diberi olehMu, Ya Allah. Jauhkanlah kami dari segala kesedihan dan tangisan ya Allah. Sinarkanlah Nur pada hidup kami, ya Allah. Aku memohon perlindunganMu Ya Allah. Engkaulah yang Maha Mengasihi lagi Maha Mengetahui. Aaamin!